Inaugural Poll (Hopefully This Works)

If you have a blog that I’ve left comments on, what do you think of my comments? 1) Stop being such a smartass 2) Your comments are great the way they are 3) You should be more of a smartass View Results Make your own poll

I Wish I Had a Voting Mechanism

I wish I had a voting mechanism, so I could poll my blog readers, lose track of their votes, hang chads, blame faulty electronics and act in opposition to what my readers actually want.  Wait.  No.  That’s not what I want.  That’s something else entirely.

But I do want a voting mechanism for polling.  Today, I removed the “recent posts” box on the right side of the blog (it was underneath “recent comments”) and I would like to know how my readers feel about that.  I would like to know if there is any point in having the “tags” listed on the right, or is “categories” sufficient?  (Aren’t these essentially the same anyway?  Yes, but not quite.  Ay yi yi.)

I want to ask my readers silly questions.  Or thoughtful ones.  I want to gauge them.  I want to experiment on them.  You did not read that last line.  You are becoming sleepy.  Focus on the watch swinging like a pendulum.  Anyway, polls rock and I’m jealous of all those blogs that have polls.  Polls allow for increased inter-activity, which I yearn for.  I want to be able to please my readers.  Or, so I say.  I at least want to pretend like I want to please my readers.  I guess you could call me a politician.

Good News for the Blog

This blog was born on or around April 2nd, 2008.  In that time, holimonths have been co-created (although Colby’s really the creator – I merely suggested to turn this from a day to a month… to do the cause justice and give it the time it deserves) and promoted, smartass comments have been left (and missed when not smartass enough) and much spam has been deleted (although it all seems to be about insurance or gambling).  And, today, someone found my blog by searching for “hot puerto rican mamis.”  I don’t recall ever blogging about Puerto Rico or posting about hot mamis (maybe I should), but I digress…

Today marks the last day of July.  This blog is almost four months old.  In that time, it has learned to, well, it’s learned to sit there and do absolutely nothing.  However, visitors, like you, yes you, and you and you and you… find comfort (apparently) in knowing my blog won’t move.  I think my blog is boring for not going for a walk once in awhile, but, hey, that’s just me.  I suppose I’m being impatient with my baby blog, though.

Anyway, congratulations are in order.  My blog had more visitors in July than any previous month.  That’s a good trend.  And I have all you to thank.  So, thank you.  Graphically speaking, the trend looks something like this:

A line going from the left to the right, increasing as it goes.  Can’t you picture it?  I know what you’re thinking – you’d be able to picture it better if I actually included a picture.  Well, consider this a lesson – from my blog to you (as a thank you) – in picturing graphical representations without visual aids.  Anyway, keep up the good work, y’all.

The UnPatriotic Act

Ha! The UnPatriotic Act is a two-way street, Big Brother. In addition to having a median, the information superhighway has it’s own tracking system. Magically, almost as magically as the Patriotic Act was past (sic, because it’s dead in the water… as in past tense), I can track you back Big Brother. Oh yes, the day is mine. The Pen Is Mightier. Or, in the words of Sean Connery (played by Darrell Hammond) on SNL’s Celebrity Jeopardy, “The Penis Mightier.”

The naming of the Patriot Act, afterall, is about on par with the Celebrity Jeopardy category “Therapists” being called “The Rapists” by Sean Connery, albeit backwards – taking something unpatriotic and calling it patriotic, as if the guise is a non-transparent ruse. But, now the day is mine. You may track my movements through the tubes that comprise the spidery web of the internet, but I can track you right back. I can ascertain which pages you viewed, how long you stayed and by what methods you are reading my blog (email). So, have fun decoding my instructions for making bombs, which are ciphered into the workings of Will Farrell and Darrell Hammond’s celebrity jeopardy sayings. Oh, and have fun distinguishing between my real and fake posts. Furthermore, in the future, I will be setting up a payment system so you can pay me for such endeavours, since I’m paying your your taxes.

Until next time, I’ll be tracking you.

I’m Finished! Or Am I?

Do you ever finish something and feel like it’s not over? Absolutely no sense of accomplishment? Maybe a script you wrote that still needs work? A novel that needs something you can’t put your finger on? An article that doesn’t feel right? Or perhaps you just feel like you never fully got over being sick? That’s how I’m feeling right about now…
(Like sands through an hour glass, time passes…)
Now, I’m over that because I moved on, did something else and have various new senses of accomplishment… the tide turned and a whole different feeling is prevailing… of course, it doesn’t hurt that I received a free item in the mail today… yay for cool, free, useful items.
Side Note: I admit that the Devil’s entrapments have raised my blog stats, but are these Devilicious people the type I want cavorting around my blog? I would surmise not, however, feel free to convince me otherwise. Off to play with my free, new toy (I’ll let your imaginations wander on that one…)

A Day in the Valley

My blog tracks blog stats.  I like blog stats.  Stats are cool.  Trends are hip.  If you don’t think so, you’re not trendy, hip?  However, the tenth day of April, which also marked the one week anniversary of this blog, marked a low point in my blogging career.  That graphic representation of stats had taken an upward turn, but then, like jumping off a cliff, the stats plummeted to an all-time low.  Yes, my blog stats went from an all-time high to an all-time low without any prior indication or fair warning.  So, as this can not be my fault, I have now ascertained that thursday is historically the worst day for blogs.  Period.  I guess you learn something new every day.  Period.