The UnPatriotic Act

Ha! The UnPatriotic Act is a two-way street, Big Brother. In addition to having a median, the information superhighway has it’s own tracking system. Magically, almost as magically as the Patriotic Act was past (sic, because it’s dead in the water… as in past tense), I can track you back Big Brother. Oh yes, the day is mine. The Pen Is Mightier. Or, in the words of Sean Connery (played by Darrell Hammond) on SNL’s Celebrity Jeopardy, “The Penis Mightier.”

The naming of the Patriot Act, afterall, is about on par with the Celebrity Jeopardy category “Therapists” being called “The Rapists” by Sean Connery, albeit backwards – taking something unpatriotic and calling it patriotic, as if the guise is a non-transparent ruse. But, now the day is mine. You may track my movements through the tubes that comprise the spidery web of the internet, but I can track you right back. I can ascertain which pages you viewed, how long you stayed and by what methods you are reading my blog (email). So, have fun decoding my instructions for making bombs, which are ciphered into the workings of Will Farrell and Darrell Hammond’s celebrity jeopardy sayings. Oh, and have fun distinguishing between my real and fake posts. Furthermore, in the future, I will be setting up a payment system so you can pay me for such endeavours, since I’m paying your your taxes.

Until next time, I’ll be tracking you.

Hannah Montana Fans Capable of Mind Thought Projection?

Having detoured into less important areas such as war and politics with my last couple posts, I would like to right the ship of irreverence back onto a more relevant course.  With regard to May being Mind Reader Awareness Month, someone brought to my attention the possibility that in addition reading people’s minds, the little, grubby children (and yes, they are all grubby) may have the capacity to project thoughts into our minds.  It’s a scary thought.

To be perfectly honest, I am not fully aware of the all-encompassing mind power capabilities of young children bearing t-shirts of Hannah Montana.  For said expertise, I must defer to the expert on the Mind-Reading capabilities of the Hannah Montana fans, Colby.  However, I would like to pose a possibility.

If young Hannah Montana fans have perfected the art of mind thought projection, would it not be possible that fake Hannah Montana fans (aka Miley Cyrus fans, since she’s the fake Hannah Montana) have utilized their powers for evil against the fake Hannah Montana (aka Miley Cyrus)?  What I’m suggesting is perhaps the recent pictures of Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair are the evil workings of these children gone.  Afterall, if Hannah Montana is capable of conjuring an army of mind-readers, then why can’t Miley Cyrus fall prey to such mind-readers once they’ve gained the ever-cherished ability to project thoughts into people’s minds?  It doesn’t seem so far-fetched to me – one of these kids may be mad at Miley Cyrus for posing as Hannah Montana, conjuring the evil that has been depicted in Vanity Fair.  Although, I must admit, I am not the expert and now defer to Colby.

Worlds Collide

Poly (yes, all my non-pop culture blog references will be to Poly until further notice) attempted to go from this: ”neither of us had ever so much as been naked with a member of the opposite sex before each other” to polyamory and I’m attempting to go from a total separation of Worlds – sans collisions – to some integrated intra-web of spidery blogginess and such, in which my boss contacts me via facebook.  It makes me cringe, but, then again, when I think about it, it doesn’t make ME cringe.  No, not at all… let me explain…

I am not me.  Nope.  I am the genetics of my parents.  Therefore, the genetics of my parents do not want World’s to collide.  Somehow, some way, somewhere along the way, I confused my parents genetic make-up with my own self.  This was highly short-sighted.  It’s probably the the same short-sighted or closed mindedness that Poly embraced before becoming Polyamorous.  And, I would surmise that it is the same with many people – we must overcome our predecessors and evolve.  So, I shall try – to let my Worlds crash into each other as much as they please, because, well, you can’t hurt me Worlds.  I’m invincible.  Although it is often nice to know I’m not talking into a void, like Poly.

Speaking of which, poly, poly, poly.

My head hurts.  Seriously, I’ve had a pounding headache all day and, for some reason, decided I would not take any form of medication for it.  I suppose the silly notion is somehow connected to my parents genetics and not my own actual beliefs.  So, it seems, I must try harder to break these chains that seem to keep me chained to a past that I have no interest in being a part of.  I figure if I put it in writing and submit it to the World, then it will happen faster, like when I mention collision of Worlds and they, supsequently, collide.

A Rant About Blogging Navigability and The Fear

I have a complaint about blogs without home buttons.  Fortunately, I am one of the lucky ones whose blog contains a home button.  For me, this button is crucial.  I’m always getting lost in a blog – on a comment page or just on a specific post.  And, you know what, I often just wanna go home.  So, please, if you have a blog and you want me to visit, help a blogger out and give me a little love in form of a button or link that will easily take me home and is located on every page.  Thanks

Furthermore, it’s not just the lack of home buttons that hampers my navigability, it’s the lack of cogent navigability.  For example, I’ve been catching up on a blog that I recently learned of, so I’m reading archived posts.  Well, anytime I leave a comment, I get stuck in limbo, forcing myself to search through the blog to return to where I was.

Now that I’m done ranting about the logistics of blogging, I must admit, I have the fear.  The belief that I can not truly keep it real on my blog due the inevitability that anyone anywhere in the World can view my blog at any time.  I don’t know how prevalent such a fear is, but I’m concerned that it’s holding me back.

I grew up not wanting my World’s to collide and, historically, did a relatively decent job of keeping my World’s separate.  If you’re not familiar with collision of World’s it was easily summed up by George Costanza on Seinfeld when he ranted about the collision of Independant George and Relationship George – two separate and distinct Worlds that he never wanted to co-mingle.  I’ve held a similar viewpoint, historically, although I’m not sure it’s the most productive.  To that end, I would like to encourage comments on the matter.  Thanks for reading.