So You Think You’re a Dork?

I’ve got a little lesson in dorkitude for those of you that think you rate high on the DSI’s (Dork Status Indicators).  Specifically, some signs you may qualify, with appropriate point allotments.

+5 If you’ve ever memorized the theme song to an animated kid’s cartoon.

+5 If you’ve ever sang the cartoon theme song in front of a public audience.

+10 If you did so while dressed as a member of the opposite sex.

+10 If, by doing all of the above, you won a transgender pageant.

+1 If it wasn’t the first transgender pageant you entered.

+1 If you were so good that it was scary.

So, there you go kiddies… a possible 32 extra DSI points for you, but unless you’re me, I doubt you can tally them all.

Where’s the Beef? I got the Beef!

Look, I’ve yet to make my final decision on whether dork status is an admirable attribute or not.  To me, it’s just another category that people try to categorize you into.  I am, as a rule, generally against categories – I refuse to be categorized.  However, the recent Dork Status Indicators (DSI’s) floating around the blogosphere have gotten me thinking.

The end result – I got beef.  Some people are claiming not walking increases there DSI level.  No, it just means you’re lazy.  Laziness does not equal dorkiness.  So, you’re cheating.  And, cheaters never win.  Furthermore, laziness only leads to sluggishness and …

(Put on your best voice over voice) …

Obesity in America!  Seriously, you can’t be lazy forever.  It doesn’t pay dividends in the long run.  Or, for those gamers in the audience:

You will not save the princess by lazing listfully under a shady tree.

“I’m a gonna ween!” will not be the case if you’re too lazy to put your foot on the pedal.

The World of Warcraft will never be conquered (as if it’s ever conquerable) if you just let your night elf stand around pondering her next move – although this may attract male WoWers.

I think that’s pretty much it.  To sum up – being lazy is no shortcut to being a dork.

What Does it Take to Achieve 60 Dork Points?

Colby recently posted a blog entry about determining your level of dorkiness.  The highest possible dork level for her (flawed) dork status rating system is 210.  I ranked in with a 60, which isn’t very high, but the way I got there was quite amusing, at least to me.  So, in order, here’s how I came to a grand total of 60 dork points (obviously including excerpts from Colby’s post, but only the ones I tallied for myself)…

“+5 if you talk to your friends more online than you do on the phone”  – I don’t like talking on the phone

“+5 if you’ve recently spent more than a solids hour playing video games and/or computer games” - Immediately prior to reading this blog entry, I played a game of Madden football – winning, I might add, a playoff game on a game winning field goal

“+5 if you keep a regular blog” - Well, duh!  However, I do not update my blog everyday (ironically, or not, I did not update circa the time she posted this entry (so, I do not collect more dork points for blog post every day, although I’m pretty close)

“+5 if you have seriously contemplated purchasing a sword” - This one just made me laugh, because….

“+10 if you have actually purchased the sword” - Yes, I have.  Multiple swords, actually.  And, I have a sword in the trunk of my car… you know, just in case.  And, have I ever been in a sword fight with my swords?  Yes, I have.

“+5 if you’ve been into a gaming store” - This is an obvious yes.  I’ve even been in a gaming store in Harlem.

“+10 if going in was your idea” - Actually, it was all the leprechaun’s idea.  Or not.

“-5 if LG, LE, UE, CN looks like a foreign language” - Ha ha… -5 points for me.

“+5 if you’ve ever acted out a favorite movie scene while you were alone” - Oh come on… I minored in theater and I write movie scripts

“+5 if you know what fanfic is but no more” - I’m a writer and, therefore, aware

“+10 if you camped out for tickets to one of the new Star Wars movies” - Yup.  But, it was Episode 1 (not 2 or 3) and I had nothing better to do at the time.  Actually, I purchased the first ticket.  My friend purchased the second ticket.

Well, there you have it.  I believe that’s 60.