When A Cover Up Is Not a Cover Up; When It Is In The Movies

I saw the Oscar nominated movie “Black Swan” and thoroughly enjoyed it. As a person involved in the film industry, not once did I ever suspect that Natalie Portman was 100% responsible for the portrayal of the lead ballerina, Nina Sayers. Before watching the film, I understood that Natalie Portman dedicated a lot of time and effort to her role. However, never did it cross my mind to be so naive as to think that Natalie Portman became an elite, top tier ballerina in such a short period of time. Such silly thoughts seem to be nonsensical, in my humble opinion. Possible, potentially, but not probable. And, after all, this is the movies.

I am familiar with the movie industry. I once made a movie featuring a narrator who, gasp!, did not appear in the film. This, in spite of the fact that the “narrator” in question was supposedly portraying the voice of one of the lead characters. It is not a cover up. It is not deception. It is movie making.

If there is any credence to be given to Entertainment Weekly (and I suspect there is), Sarah Lane (the body double of Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”) is ignorant to the movie making process. In yesterday’s EW article titled, “‘Black Swan’ double claims Natalie Portman only did ’5 percent’ of full-body dance shots in the movie” ballerina double Sarah Lane claims, “It’s just unfortunate that I kind of lost credit.” Meanwhile, the Internet Movie DataBase (IMDB.com) clearly shows that Sarah Lane was credited for her involvement in the film. Furthermore, according to the aforementioned EW article, the movie credits Sarah Lane as a “‘Hand Model,’ ‘Stunt Double,’ and ‘Lady in the Lane’.”

In the EW article, Lane goes on to say, “It is demeaning to the profession” and that “from a professional dancer’s standpoint, she [Natalie Portman] doesn’t look like a professional ballet dancer at all.” I acquiesce this latter point to Lane. However, I also think Lane needs to acquiesce that the latter point is irrelevant and the former point is untrue. Her comments merely show her ignorance about the movie industry. It is unfortunate, in my opinion.

Although totally unrelated, I am reminded of one of the necessary qualifications for a journalistic piece to be considered libel or slander, which is that the information must first be beleivable. I never believed Natalie Portman became an elite ballerina in a year and a half. I did not need to. That is part of the magic of the movies and exactly the reason Sarah Lane was able to land a job as a stunt double in the first place – to hide Natalie’s flaws as a relatively novice ballerina.

In my estimation, anyone who beleived Natalie Portman became some dancing prodigy is a fool. Actors and actresses play roles in movies every single time they step in front of a camera. They don’t become brain surgeons before stepping into that fake doctor’s office; they don’t become award-winning musicians before portraying the roles of musicians. It is absurd to think that would be the case. If the world ran that way, fictional movies would never get made. Otherwise, who would play the role of Forrest Gump? Who would star in Transformers? Who would play Batman? Need I go on?

If Sarah Lane were in charge of the movie industry, there would be no movie industry, because, in her eyes, suspension of disbelief woulld not be allowed, trick camera work would not be allowed, stunt doubles would not be allowed and body doubles would not be allowed. Of course, if that were the case, Sarah Lane would have been out of job on the film “Black Swan.” In reality, it is not the case, so I merely have one question for Sarah Lane, “Why did you sign on to be a body double in the first place?”

Find Writing Prompts Wherever You Can!

Anything can be a writing prompt. Just look at your shoe. There’s probably something interesting stuck to the bottom of your shoe. That can be your writing prompt for the day. Today, I found two writing prompts on two different forums, each leading to one idea. One prompt was a thread about underage facebook usage, while the other was actually a blog post now that I think about it, but it was linked to from a writing forum. The latter merely said, “Just start writing.” It said I could even plagiarize the first line if I had to, as long as it got me writing and assuming I later deleted the plagiarized line. Plagiarism is bad folks, unless it’s used as a writing prompt and, subsequently, deleted.

Anyway, what I’m saying is, anything can be a writing prompt. So, let that homeless man that begged you for money today be your writing prompt. Or, let the glass you stepped on, cutting your foot, be your writing prompt. Because, the important thing is not where or how you start, but that you actually start. Because (wow, I can’t believe I’m starting two sentences in a row with the word “because”) once you get started, it is easier to keep going. Creativity can not flow as well if you don’t turn the faucet on first.

When I began writing today, I had no clue what I was going to write. I ended up writing a short story. And, to be perfectly honest, I think it is cute and adorable. It also comes from personal experience, to a degree. This is another helpful point – it is often easier to write what you know. I know it’s a cliche, but it’s a cliche becasue it’s true. Take that fact and embrace it. Trust me. It’ll work.

Now, if you still don’t know what to write about try banana goat pie. Why? I don’t know, other than the fact that it was the first silly thing to pop to mind. Best of luck. Remember: keep on writing. Because I said so (and because I just started another sentence with the word “because”). Now, I’m off to see what’s attached to the bottom of my shoe.

Operation Odyssey Dawn > Anyway Oddest Poisoner

When I first heard the mission name “Operation Odyssey Dawn” I wondered if maybe there was some alterior message hidden within its’ contents. This thought struck me because of the original mission name Operation Iraqi Liberation (which was later changed to Operation Iraqi Freedom, to eliminate the negative connotation), whose initials spelled O.I.L.

It did not take long to realize Operation Odyssey Dawn is an anagram for Anyway Oddest Poisoner. I found this very fitting, as war is a form of poison, if I may say so myself. The anagram Anyway Oddest Poisoner also happens to strike me as something American. It just seems to fit. Gaddafi’s been doing some evil stuff in Libya, but America always seems to be involved in other people’s business. In that sense, perhaps America is the world’s “Oddesst Poisoner, Anyway.”

I’m not a fan of what Gaddafi’s doing, but I’m also not a fan of all out war. Anyway, Oddest Poisoner to the rescue with Operation Odyssey Dawn, apparently. At least, for now.

Top Ten Reasons Charlie Sheen Should Hire Me to Be His Winning Intern

I’ve had a few heroes in my lifetime. Most of them are dead. Hunter S. Thompson comes to mind. While the good doctor was alive, I missed the opportunity to meet him. I regret that. Now, I have the opportunity to be Charlie Sheen’s intern. I will not pass up this opportunity. Charlie Sheen and I are bred from the same Adonis DNA and tiger blood. I got a paternity test the other day and learned Charlie Sheen is my biological father. However, I don’t plan on slinking into the internship position based solely on nepotism (although I hope it helps). I also hope this helps – my top ten reasons Charlie Sheen should hire me to be his winning intern:

Continue to Top Ten List >

The Revolution Will NOT Be Televised

Television is the old, mythical, control mechanism of the global conglomerate utilized to zombify the masses, perpetuating a society that will buy, buy, buy the sh!t the global conglomerations are selling through ads, ads, ads… so, the Revolution will NOT be televised. It will, however, be tweeted. It will sprout up out of social media, like the butterfly flower that it is – beautiful and necessary. Change is necessary. We are dynamic and we must win! Charlie Sheen knows this. Kevin Smith knows this.

We the people of the United States of America are on the precipice of televution. Viva la revolucion del television (say that last bit en espanol, por favor).

We are all embedded or unplugged. The embedded need to be unplugged. The unplugged need to embed themselves into the unplugging. Kevin Smith and Charlie Sheen are your leaders. I can see it, like that final crest of the tsunami that towers over Los Angeles moments before it disappears into the abyss. Don’t succumb to the vast abyss like all your predecessors who said, “What can I do? It is what it is.”
Be a part of the revolution. Find a way, no matter how small. Tweet about it. Share it. Talk it up. This is real, folks.

Every day, people complain about the big global corporations that have all the power. Now is your chance to do something. Speak your mind. Speak up. Be heard. Use your voice or miss out on the revolution. Charlie Sheen and Kevin Smith are, simultaneously, in vastly different ways, attempting to show you the way. They are countering the culture, working outside the box, being independent of the mainstream media. So, stand up, join with them and Revolt!

It’s now or never. I feel it in my loins like Charlie Sheen feels tiger blood in his veins or Kevin Smith feels dick and fart jokes in his gut. This is it. This is our time to rise. Be the power you see in yourself. Be the change. Or, don’t complain.

Support Sheen’s Korner and the “Red State” USA Tour.

Sheen’s Korner Debuts

On Saturday, March 5th, 2011 at 7pm pst Sheen’s Korner will debut on USTREAM. I think this is hugely important and you need to know why.

Sure, Charlie Sheen has had his moments in which he didn’t seem like the perfect person. Well, who is? Following the cancellation of “Two and a Half Men” this season, Charlie Sheen has been provided time to find a new career – one that is not hampered by anyone else. He already broke the Twitter record for fastest to gain 1 million followers. And, this too, is important.

Charlie Sheen has been a celebrity for some time, but with his newfound time and Twitter account, Charlie Sheen is not only WINNING with his tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mr. Sheen is showing the world how to be a one-man revenue making giant. I will happen, mark my words. He has the clout, the social media and the wherewithal. People say Charlie Sheen is not winning because he’s “unemployed.” That’s the biggest joke I’ve ever heard and those people are obviously not visionaries. Call Charlie Sheen whatever you want, but at least he has vision. And, I truly think he’s going to use it very well to leverage himself into a celebrity who can make tons of money without being “employed” in the traditional sense of the world. After all, why does tradition matter? Tradition does not take into account social media. Tradition does not take into account tigerblood. Tradition does not take into account Charlie Sheen. I suggest people shouldn’t lay down on Charlie Sheen – unless you’re a hot woman with big boobies! Whether you love or hate the character that is Charlie Sheen, he is umpteen times more captivating than the entire cast of the Jersey Shore put together. And, his character, undoubtedly, will be a star ON HIS OWN USTREAM or wherever else he decides to sell himself. Charlie Sheen is a force to be reckoned with and I respect what he’s doing because he is taking power away from the huge corporations that have had a stranglehold on it for so long. That’s why Charlie Sheen is Winning! Don’t forget to tune in to Sheen’s Korner tonight.

Charlie Sheen is Winning!

Whether Charlie Sheen has tiger blood or not and whether or not he, eventually, wins custody of his children, Charlie Sheen is Winning! In one arena, at least. And, that is the social media universe. On March 1st, two days ago, Charlie Sheen joined Twitter. Then, he became the fastest Twitter personality to gain 1 million followers, setting a Guinness World Record.

This is not Charlie Sheen’s first Guiness World Record. Previously, the actor recieved the prestigious record for being the “Highest Paid TV Actor – Per Episode.” I suppose when Mr. Sheen’s television show, “Two and a Half Men,” was cancelled earlier this season, the actor decided a new Guiness World Record was needed. Well, he succeeded, becasue Charlie Sheen really is Winning – with or without tiger blood.

To hear up-to-the-minute commentary on Charlie Sheen, follow me on Twitter @_L_I_V_I_N_